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​Breaking Up Is Hard To Do…

By Pam Pollock

March, 2017

The time, I thought, had finally come. It was going to be a difficult task – but I had to pull the plug on this relationship. The spark was fading fast and I no longer had that giddy, euphoric feeling when I gazed into his eyes. And it wasn’t just him – it was almost EVERY member of his ‘family”. I found myself stifling yawns and avoiding eye contact. I made excuses as to why I couldn’t attend our weekly gatherings – I had to wash my hair, I had to babysit, and yes, the predictable old standby, “Not tonight, I have a headache.”

And then, a short month ago the inevitable happened – I met someone else and it was like wow! I mean there were fireworks and electric currents. I couldn’t get enough of my new love!

But the guilt – the waves and waves of guilt just poured over my body and weighed down my soul. We had years and years of commitment on my part. It was true love and I am a faithful person. I felt dirty and ashamed for my betrayal. It wasn’t so much him – it was those new members of his “family” that I despised. And well, to be honest – the plot lines were getting pretty stale, too.

Could I do it? Could I walk away from Gibbs and NCIS after all of these years? And could I forsake the new show Bull in favor of my new love, The Outsiders??!! I decided to compromise by taping NCIS and Bull and watching them on another day because of the conflict of scheduling with Bull and The Outsiders.

Don’t get me wrong, I love me some Mark Harmon and Ducky and Palmer. But I have been in a funk since Ziva left the series and they brought in that blonde haired chick. I don’t like to say mean things in print because I always worry that the parents will read what I have written and we all know that parents take everything said about their kids so very personally – but this chick stinks in this role. And then they bring in another chick, this time with dark hair and she stinks even more than the blonde chick. Seriously folks, if you want to hire a bad actress, contact me! I can stand around and look perplexed and confused and mutter some lines – and maybe pat Gibbs’ butt!

And then my beloved Tony left the show this past spring and Michael Weatherly got his own show, Bull. So, of course I start to watch the show – because, hey, it’s Michael. But the show makes me question that fancy office building and all of that high tech equipment and huge staff and just how much are they charging their clients? And I hate those mirror juries! Can we say BORING?!

And then there’s my new love, The Outsiders. It features an old friend and hometown dude, Bill Laing in a supporting role. It’s set in rural Kentucky but actually filmed in the Pittsburgh area. It’s got a hillbilly, redneck vibe that strikes a cord in this hillbilly, redneck gal. I just found out about the show from my sister–in-law this past Thanksgiving and I bought the first season DVD and we binge-watched the show and got caught up before season 2 started in February. I was hooked from the first episode. The show stars Opie (Ryan Hurst) from Sons of Anarchy (Oh Opie, my Opie!!) and David Morse from St. Elsewhere – and then there is dreamboat Asa Farrell with that twangy hillbilly accent and that bad boy vibe that Gibbs also possesses. It made taping NCIS soooo much easier.

And then what happens? The stupid writers kill off my beloved Asa in the freakin’ first episode of season 2. What.the.frug?! And they fed him to the wolves! What.the.frug?! But the body is never recovered – just a severed arm… Again, what.the.frug?!

Dear TV executives and writers and actors – I am TRYING to be faithful here but yinz are all being total jagoffs and messing with my mind and my soul!

And then it happens – I tune into NCIS and Jimmy Palmer is out on the ledge with a would be jumper and – MAGIC happens! And I am on the edge of the couch with a box of Kleenex and I am sobbing and holding my breath. And at the end? When Gibbs gives Dr. (say what – you go Jimmy!) Palmer that powerful and love-filled bear hug? Oh, I’m in – I’m in like Flynn.

Dang it, Gibbs – I can’t quit you. I just hope you know that ours is now an open relationship because I just can’t quit The Outsiders, either. (Asa, I’m still holding hope that you are out there somewhere on Shay Mountain.)

I seriously need to just start washing my hair on Tuesday evenings. Or go to prayer meeting. Or babysit the grandkids and give up cable TV. Who would have ever thought that I would be a TV swinger at age 55?!