Tell Me Why… (No, Seriously, Tell Me Why!)

Pam Pollock
February 2024

It’s mid-January and while we have not had the horrible snowstorms that have hit the West and Midwest, we’re currently experiencing our first significant snow of the season.  Coupled with windchills that have hit -9, people have been pretty cranky around here.  Now, I will admit that I love the snow (but I hate being out on icy roads) and even though it’s been challenging to go out and get my birds fed, I just bundle up and git r done.

Sitting here in the Homestead, I have felt my blood pressure rise every time our oil furnace kicks on.  I run around, turning the thermostat back to 64º, throw on an extra sweater and wrap up in a blanket whilst working in my home office.  My spouse has been keeping a fire going in the living room fireplace and then I worry about how much wood we are burning.  It’s a never-ending, vicious circle. And yes, I count myself amongst the cranky crowd.

When I feel irritable, I tend to dwell on things that raise my ire.  And trust me, that list. Is growing by the minute…

First up, I LOVE Hallmark movies much to my spouse’s chagrin,  But as much as I enjoy watching them, when I am cranky, I start to nitpick them.  Why is there always a snowstorm and the roads and airports are closed but they can still make it into the town diner or coffee shop?  And why do the people NEVER button their coats up?  And you can’t see their breath when they are talking? And why is there big clumps of (fake) snow everywhere but on the sidewalks? Those suckers are always bare.  And the (fake) snow is draped over bushes and shrubs and trees – yet all of the trees are in summer foliage.  And trust me, after 41 years of marriage, my spouse and I have never not spoken our minds to each other, we just let ‘er rip.  No stupid looks without saying what we are thinking!

Speaking of foliage, this past fall we were out “leaf peeping” and came across the most beautiful vista overlooking a river and it was just perfect for photographing – except for the highly offensive graffiti that was spray painted on some rocks. Why must jagoffs deface something?  Why?! And yes, I am also talking about carving stuff into trees.

I’m just plain tired of all of the political BS spouted on TV, the newspapers, and especially Social Media (I’m pointing at you, Facebook Crusaders). 

My biggest pet peeve?  When someone DIES, people say that they have “passed away” and then throw up an offhand, “RIP”.  They’re DEAD, peeps.  And RIP is stupid. I’ll probably unfriend you if you post that on my page.  Who am I kidding, I did unfriend several people who said that when my Mom died.

I don’t get the ripped jeans look – why pay good money for a pair of jeans with so many rips and tears and gaps in the fabric that goes up to your thighs?  That being said, did I buy my one granddaughter a pair of said jeans because she really likes them? Yes, yes, I did – but not a pair that had gaps of fabric up to the thighs.

This one goes out to my Dad – we have daily disagreements over the weather.  He tells me that I need to find another source for my weather forecasts.  I tell him that if he doesn’t stop quoting his weather app, things are gonna get ugly.  And yet, here we are every day, having this same talk.  What can I say, arguing runs in the family. I still love you, Dad – but my weather program is better than yours.

So, I am sitting here being an armchair critic of things, spouting off and being a bit of a condescending a-hole when trust me, I know that I do a ton of stuff that annoys people…

I have to drive my family up the wall by insisting on only using certain silverware utensils… and cups… and plates… and pots and pans… and also bathroom towels.

I sharpen several pencils and line them up like little wooden soldiers and call them, one by one, into active duty to do battle in my work.  Woe be to the unsuspecting person who dares to touch my pencils (and pens)!

I am perpetually misplacing stuff – namely my glasses and phone.

I do not willingly share my stash of Coca Cola or Sarris chocolates.

I get positively giddy when it snows and I will dash outside while it’s still dark, throwing on a coat over my pajamas and slipping on some winter boots, so I can get photos of the yard and woods without footprints ruining the beauty of the fresh fallen snow.  I have been known to yell, “Don’t walk in the snow, I don’t like tracks!”

I am obsessed with birds and birdwatching.  My head is always turned to the sky, gazing at the cloud,s the moon, the stars.  I see shapes in the cloud that others do not. 

I still have my Christmas tree and all of my decorations up.  If that annoys, too bad. Although, I do hope to get them down within the next couple of days.

I wear those goofy sweatshirts with cartoons and sayings – all.year.long. I also wear silly socks and will be wearing a pair of Halloween socks in --- April.

I will give you the glare of death if you even think about touching my camera.  And heaven help you if you get in my car and turn the radio station.  But – I will change the seat position and radio if I get in your car, because, well, apparently that rule does not apply to me.

I don’t like for my food to touch.  I only put a teeny, tiny dab of ketchup on my sandwiches.  I don’t like spices of any kind, not even pepper.

Why am I like this?  I have no clue – and I’m not going to spend money on a therapist to find out why because most of them are just as screwed up in the head as me. So, I’ll just muddle along and just keep wondering, “Why? Why?  Why?!”