It’s December 14th as I write this column. It’s early morning and the skies are still dark, and I can hear drumming sounds up on my rooftop. I will confess to peeking out the window to see if Santa and his reindeer decided to swing by my house 11 days early – but, alas, it’s just the rain.
I’m tired, folks. I am bone weary tired. I had to make another visit to FasterCare over Thanksgiving weekend for my 2nd sinus infection of the season. I had unexpected car problems then as well. I’m worried about loved ones and their health. I am so fed up with the political mess in our country. I’m irritated with a lot of people. I am thoroughly disgusted with my sports teams.
I am an emotional person; I wear my heart on my sleeve. I also have a short fuse, and when that fuse is lit, it erupts rather rapidly. I try to contain that fuse, honest, I really do but it’s pretty hard to do so.
My daughter posts articles on her Facebook page about calming techniques and speaking in gentle tones. I read them. I even bookmark them to go back later and read them again. I try to practice them. I need to try harder.
I spend a lot of time with my grandkids and I try to keep matches away from my fuse. I want to have a wonderful relationship with them and leave them with wonderful memories of our times together. But sweet sassy molasses, it’s hard to smile and talk in a cheerful tone when you are struggling to get 4 very active children in and out of car seats! They move slower than a tortoise. I really cringe when the baby throws a plate of noodles on the floor. I have tripped over scooters more times than I can remember. I get frustrated when I don’t know how to get their DVD player to work and they are in the background chanting, “Peppa Pig! Peppa Pig! Peppa Pig!”
Recently, I was wrestling the baby to wipe her runny nose. She was winning the battle. My grandson walked up to me and held out a mirror. He stuck in my face and told me, “Look in the mirror!” I really wasn’t in the mood to look in the mirror. I was in the middle of a hot flash; I was wore out from dueling with the baby. But I wanted to be a kinder, gentler Gaga – so I did as I was bidden. My grandson looked me dead in the eye and asked, “ Do you look beautiful, Gaga?” I truly didn’t. I looked like I always do – a hot mess.
I opened my mouth to tell him what I saw but I didn’t want to be negative, so I asked him, “Do you think I look beautiful, Declan?” “Yes, Gaga! You are beautiful!” he replied with such a big smile.
I admit it, tears came to my eyes. Tears are in my eyes even now as I recall this memory. Declan’s compliment and loving words put a spring in my step and a glow in my heart for the rest of the day.
I can’t change the worries and woes of this life, but I can spread a little love and cheer to others. I have begun to try and accomplish this in some small way every day. Some days it is complimenting a stranger on her beautiful purple hair, other times it is letting someone with 2 items get in line ahead of me at the checkout line. Our family adopted a Veteran for Christmas and also bought gifts for children from the Angel Tree. Some days it is just keeping my hands on my steering wheel and not blowing my horn and flipping the bird at a moron driver.
If I receive outstanding service from someone, I not only tell them – but I try to send an email or fill out a customer service survey card to the company.
More importantly, I am really working on telling my family and friends how much I love and appreciate them. They are my world and make my life so much brighter and happier. I really do cherish the moments we spend together. My goal in 2020 is to spread a little love and grow a whole lot of patience.