Complainers
Complainers, like most
groups of people, come in all shapes, sizes, and ages, and neither gender seems
to have cornered the market. They cross all intellectual, cultural, social and
professional lines, and the haves are as apt to complain as the have-nots. Complaining is clearly something at which
anyone can be good. And with sufficient
practice over a long enough period of time, some folks have actually raised the
fine art of complaining to an art form. From time to time we all go through
periods when complaining seems like the right thing to do, but some folks seem
to live there, having turned grousing into a way of life.
The periodic gripe or
grumble is an understandable part of daily life. We make them, we hear them, and we get past
them. There is generally no great harm
or foul, and there is no real damage to interpersonal relationships. The
habitual complainer on the other hand, can and often does adversely affect
interpersonal relationship. This happens
because they tend to put people off and fatigue them with their constant
complaining. The cantankerous and whiney
souls tend to wear people out, and once identified as such a nitpicker, most
folks try to avoid the habitual griper.
Everyone has their daily concerns and issues, and having to put up with
someone else nitpicking everything becomes an annoyance. Complainers are tiresome and bothersome
individuals. No small wonder why they so
often find themselves with few if any close friends.
Those who devote too much
of their time to carping about everything also become a burden to
themselves. In time they begin to wear
themselves down. Some complainers have
perfected the process of criticizing to the point where they actually complain to
themselves. Their self-talk becomes
infested with the same constant barrage of negativity that they share with
others. That's got to eventually get
tiresome!
People who turn nagging or
grumbling into a habit eventually begin to see everything through the lens of
their nitpicking attitude. Their bad
habit becomes their daily routine. In time nothing comes up to par with
them. Everything has a problem or
problems attached to it. Nothing is ever
good enough. Over the long haul, such a
view undoubtedly clouds the complainers' days and produces an irritating,
negative, and unpleasant perspective on life.
Everyone faces challenges throughout life, and in like manner everyone
enjoys opportunities. For the
complainers, their challenges are far worse than those faced by anyone else,
and all of their opportunities are laced with challenges that others don’t seem
to encounter.
We all know someone who
could easily earn a spot in the Moaners Hall of Fame. They are accomplished gripers, and they
seldom pass up an opportunity to further hone their complaining skills. Because
of the time and energy they devote to complaining, they tend to diminish the
time and energy they have for getting anything accomplished. They would sooner complain than do something
to try and solve the problems they so readily identify. They're too busy finding fault, whining,
carping, grumbling, nagging, grousing, protesting, and moaning to act. They spend their energy finding fault and
accomplishing little else. What a waste
of time, energy, and talent. As Henry
Ford once said, "Don't find fault, find a remedy; anybody can
complain."
The reasons why complainers
find it necessary to constantly gripe about something are probably as varied
and numerous as the complainers themselves.
It may well have something to do with their overall perspective on life. We've all heard the metaphor of the half
glass of water. Some folks will see it
as half full, while others will see it as half empty. Those who see it as half full appreciate what
is there, while those who see it as half empty are annoyed but what is missing. Clearly, it's all a matter of
perspective.
Unless there is some major
transformation in basic human nature, the complainers will always be among
us. And depending on the type of day
we're having, they will amuse us, annoy us, or accomplish something in between
with their daily grousing. As they do,
the words of one old adage may well help us keep them in perspective. As that old saying warns, "We can
complain because rose bushes have thorns, or we can rejoice because thorn
bushes have roses.”