You Drive Me Crazy…

Pam Pollock
September 2023

When I discussed the topic of this month’s column with my boss, aka my spouse, he told me to expect some backlash from some of my readers. I’m not a gamblin’ person by nature, but what the heck, I’m gonna roll the dice and take my chances.

I’ve been to several outdoors truck shows this year and have more scheduled through the end of the year.  I’ve been noticing a trend for the past 12 years or so that, in my opinion, is getting out of hand. I’m talking about all of the golf carts and motorized scooters that show attendees are bringing to drive around the showgrounds.   

A couple of weeks ago I attended a very large truck show and I had to dodge the above mentioned golf carts, motorized scooters, and children on kick scooters.  I tried to be nice and polite, hey, I get it, I’m not a fan of walking, either.  But it was an incredibly hot and humid day with the temperature being an actual 84º with a real feel of 92º.  It was my 62nd birthday.  I have two bad knees that were aching nonstop.  I had boob sweat dripping down to said knees.  Yeah, I was more than a wee bit cranky.  I was toting my camera, an accessory pouch, and a bottle of water.  I was WALKING. 

Zoom!  Zoom!  Zoom!  The invasion of golf carts roaring down the path clearly marked “Pedestrian Traffic Only” irked me.  The drivers would roar up into the crowd of thousands of people and expect everyone to move out of their way.  They’d salute us with a can of beer, I was tempted to return the salute with my middle finger.  Oh, who am I kidding?  I did return that salute with my middle finger…

Next up were the motorized scooter people.  Apparently, they thought they were cowboys riding their steeds in the wild, wild west.  They rode side by side down the pavement, moving over for no one, veering from left to right to look at the big rigs. 

Yep, they drew my ire, and I unleashed my fury on them. “Looks like yinz guys have really  bad knees!”  I called out to them. 

“What?” one of them questioned me.

“The scooters,” I replied.  “All of yinz must have bad knees if you have to ride these scooters to get around!”

The dudes all avoided looking at me and one sheepishly said over his shoulder, “Oh yeah, we have really bad knees.”

“Me, too” was my reply.  “Yet here, I am, WALKING around and not being rude.”

They ignored me, and continued on their merry way down the asphalt, going here and there and everywhere.

I get it, men.  It was hot, it was a huge venue, and let’s face it, you were lazy and didn’t want to walk.  I didn’t want to walk, either.  But I did.  And so did an older gentleman in his 70s, who was walking with a bandaged knee who had had both knees replaced.  And a gentleman who appeared to be in his 60s and looked to be recovering from a stroke, who was gingerly making his way among the trucks with the use of a cane.

I can’t change the rules and tell you not to zip through the crowds in your golf carts and motorized scooters.  I can’t tell you to ask your kids not to dart in front of me.  But I can ask all of yinz to have some respect and courtesy and use some etiquette when you encounter thousands of people who are out there walking.  Because yinz clearly drove me crazy.