The Things You Do For Your Grandkids…

Pam Pollock
April 2020

Karma.  Oh, karma, you really came back hard and bite me in the butt…

It all started last summer, when I saw on the internet that the You Tube kiddie personality/sensation Blippi would be embarking on a national tour in 2020.  My grandkids watch this dude and my grandson is obsessed with him.  The guy dresses pretty funky and sings songs about Monster Trucks, Pizza , Brushing Your Teeth and Tractors.  He bounces all over the place and films at museums, aquariums, firehouses and other cool places.  But, to be brutally honest here, his voice starts to grate on my nerves after about 10 minutes.

My grandson was turning three in January and the Blippi tour was coming to Pittsburgh in February, so I messaged my daughter and asked if we could get tickets for her and Declan as a birthday present.  She said yes and then asked if I wanted to take Declan myself.  “Oh, hell to the no!” was my immediate response.  I bought the tickets and then, later in the fall, I read where The Lumineers were coming to Pittsburgh, so I bought tickets for my son, daughter and son-in-law as Christmas presents.  You know where there is leading to, don’t you??!

About two weeks before the Blippi show, my daughter texted me because she just discovered that the Blippi show and the Lumineers concert was on the same night. I asked if she was offering me her Lumineers ticket as she had to go to Blippi.  She just laughed.

And so, dear friends, this is the story of a little old Gaga loading up her grandson and heading into the big city to see a show where the real Blippi didn’t want to go on tour, so he hired a faux Blippi to take his place and parents were outraged and demanded their money back but Gaga didn’t really give a rip and took her grandson and declared that, by Jove, we were going to have the best time ever!

And you know what, I really did have fun – it was impossible to not join in the merriment when you have a 3 year old jumping in his seat, waving to Blippi on stage and singing about Monster Trucks.  And to be honest, we never noticed that it wasn’t the real Blippi, but I was happy that faux Blippi’s voice was actually not as shrill as the real Blippi’s.

The highlight of my night was during the intermission, when Declan looked up at the ceiling of the Byham Theater and noticed the mural of multiple women who had long, flowing hair and were topless.  “That’s a lot of boobs hanging out,” Declan remarked.  Several people seated near us guffawed.  I wasn’t really sure how to proceed with this topic and then I thought, what would Blippi do?  How would he handle this?  He always sings in his opening song, “Come on everyone, let’s make learning fun!”  So, I took the Blippi approach and told my grandson, “Wow, there sure are a lot of naked boobs up there!  Maybe they have babies that need some Mommy milk.”  Declan pondered this thought and then shook his head in agreement. “Look! I found a baby,” he said as he pointed to the lone cherub in the mural. Thankfully the intermission ended and Blippi came back on the stage and began his frenetic dancing and singing and Declan forgot about boobs.

It’s been three weeks since we attended the show and I still have all of those songs stuck in my head.  I also still wonder why there’s all of those topless women and only one cherub.  That’s a lot of Mommy milk for one little baby.  Oh, Blippi!