Live, Love and Laugh…

Pam Pollock
March 2021

So many times, in life I don’t know whether to laugh or to cry, so I will do both. Thank goodness for laughter during the past 11 months, it’s carried me through some very trying times.

It’s the day before Valentine’s Day and I can’t wait to see all of the mushy, lovey-dovey posts on social media tomorrow.  A lot of people talk about their “soulmate” and their “best friend”.  There will be lots of glossy, posed photos of people gazing intently into each other’s eyes, or kissing or feeding each other grapes or chocolates for something.

And then there’s us…  my spouse of over 38 years and me. I can’t really say that he’s my best friend.  I love my spouse dearly but GASP!  We bicker and squabble almost on a daily basis. We’re both opinionated and stubborn and have Irish and Scottish tempers.  And he’s also my work boss – seriously, what was I thinking 38.5 years ago? I’ll tell you what I was thinking – I was in LOVE!  I still am in love with the big lug – even if at times I don’t like him.  That’s ok, you know – to love your partner but not like them at times. I am sure that he does not like me much of the time, either but he’s too much of a gentleman to tell me that.  I am uncouth and mean, so I will just spout off whatever I am thinking.

Last August, I sat outside the ER for over 5 hours while my husband was supposed to be treated for high blood sugar levels of 321 (he got the diabetes diagnosis that morning at FasterCare and we were told to get him to the ER immediately for treatment – spoiler alert, they did not treat him but let him sit in the waiting area for 5 hours and then sent him home and told him to contact our family doctor – and then sent us a bill for over $5,000).  I was scared witless whilst sitting in our car in the summer heat.  I was upset that due to Covid-19 protocols, I could not be with my husband in the ER, he was all alone.  I was panicked and fearful that he was going to die, and I knew that even with all of our ups and downs, I wanted to live the rest of my life with this crazy, thoughtful, loving, kind man. He protects me and shelters me the best that he can through life’s storms.  He does everything for his family.  He makes me laugh, he makes me cry, he makes me feel loved. He cleans the snow off of my car in the morning.  He cooks dinner 95% of the time and does the dishes and scrubs the toilet.  That’s love.

His most recent act of love was to drive me 4.5-5 hours one way to see the migration of Snow Geese.  He’s not a birder, but he did this for me and then stood in 2-3 feet of snow for over an hour at dusk so we could watch the geese fly down to the frozen lake for the night. And he didn’t think I was crazy when I got up at 5:30 am the next morning to make the 30 minute drive back to see the thousands of geese rise in unison and ascend to the sky. That’s love, folks and it’s better than any diamond necklace (I personally don’t like jewelry).  Every time that we stopped for gas on the trip, he would bring me a little treat back.  That’s love.  

So, I’ll rub his back in the middle of night without complaining too much.  I will call in his meds and harp on him to test his sugar.  I will send him silly texts and turn his socks and underwear inside out. I’ll snuggle with him on a cold winter’s night. That’s life, that’s love and it’s what I need and want.  And each and every day, no matter how difficult, we’ll try to find something to laugh about.