Airing Of  The Grievances – Festivus 2025

I’ll begin this column by stating that I am tired, I am cranky, and I am most definitely grumpy. My darling spouse could probably add several adjectives to this description.

My meanness has led me to recall the episode of “Seinfeld” where Frank Constanza took over the Festivus dinner, to tell his friends and family about all the disappointments that he experienced in the past year.

Buckle up Buttercups, this is gonna be a wild ride.

I’m tired of the Frozen Coke and ice cream machines always breaking down at McDonald’s. I’m tired of price gouging and buying stuff that either arrives broken or breaks within 1 or 2 uses.

Whoever told all people working in customer service jobs to cheerfully (and phonily) reply to the customer, “Of course!” – well, if I ever find you, Imma gonna bop you on the nose.

I have finally eliminated most of the scam phones that I had been receiving nonstop and it’s only [sic] costing me an extra $10.00 per month.  If the phone company can stop these calls – why do I have to pay for this?  Is this a privilege to not be bothered for 10 hours a day with spam calls??

Don’t even get me started on the government, politicians, and health insurance. 

Where do those missing socks hide?  I put 6 socks in the washer and dryer but only have 5 socks when I am folding my clothes.

Technology and all electronic devices are a rip-off.  My very 1st Mac computer lasted almost 20 years – now I am lucky if I can get 4 years out of a computer.  Remember when you bought your software outright?  Not any more, now you have to pay a monthly/yearly fee that is exorbitant.

Why do men ALWAYS get 2 deep front pockets and 2 back pockets in their pants?  But the women? We’re screwed, child, we’re screwed.

Still salty that Chef Boyardee no longer includes the cheese in their pizza kit.  And Shake ‘n Bake got rid of their plastic bags – how the frug am I supposed to shake my chicken so I can bake it. Don’t offer me reasonable explanations and choices, people – I am airing my grievances here.

Hallmark Movies – bring back Ryan Pavey! And plus so, I am also a “Hallmark Heartie” and Elizabeth belongs with Lucas, not Nathan.

I curse in your general direction – this is directed to everyone who leaves their grocery cart in the middle of the aisle and then casually meanders over to another aisle. And what’s up with the people who pick up every pack of hamburger and spends 10 minutes inspecting each pack?  Do you have a set of weights installed in your hands? And then, here’s the kicker – they walk away from the meat counter and don’t buy anything.

I feel guilty, I’m gonna stop my whining. Let’s think happy thoughts – children dancing around the Christmas tree, the glow of outdoor lights and the trees enveloped in glittering snow, and me hopefully getting a new housecoat because I scorched mine (ala Jo from the Little Women book) from standing too close to the fireplace.  I also ripped the zipper because even though I am 64 years old, I still sit on my knees and that put the kibosh on my poor housecoat.

I hope you and your family have a wonderful Christmas season – and if you don’t – well, you can always air YOUR grievances!