By Pam Pollock

I hate to say it – but lately I have been Little Miss Crankypants!  I could continue to let my frustration and anger build inside me but I worry about my blood pressure reaching the boiling part and the subsequent blow-up.  So in the interest of my health and my family’s sanity, I am just going to unload on everything that has been bothering me.

I will just spit it out – PEOPLE ARE RUDE!  Rude, crude and it’s just not dudes!  One of my worse peeves is how everyone drives, whether it is on the interstate or the little country roads in my neighborhood.  I-79 is under construction (again!) and I get so frustrated when drivers ignore the “Right Lane Closing Ahead” and rush up to the construction site and then push their way in.  This is the time when I wish I had a “Mad Max” vehicle and I would just squash those annoying and rude drivers like a bug! And hello folks – a narrow, country back road is not the Indy 500!  Slow down – you shouldn’t be going more than 25 mph – and when there is a car approaching from the opposite direction, you are going to have to move over.  Move over, you moron!

We walk our beagle, Gunny on a back road twice a day.  In the spring, my spouse spent 6 hours cleaning up the 1-mile stretch of the road. He filled over 6 large trash bags with garbage, plus he hauled out a tire, signs and assorted other junk.  The next morning, there was a dirty diaper tossed out.  This is a dead end road, so the trash is obviously coming from the residents!  Right now there is an assortment of Styrofoam cups in one spot, all emblazoned with a large “D”, which I assume is for decaffeinated but I actually believe it is for douche bag, because that’s what the trash throwers are – douche bags.  (Sorry for the bad language, Mom but I am really, really mad!) Be courteous and take your trash into your house.

   Continuing on – I am appalled at the amount of pop bottles that are tossed out of cars and trucks, especially the ones filled with urine.  Seriously?  If you can stick your “Johnson” in a bottle and pee – then you are more than capable of carrying that bottle to a trashcan and disposing of it properly.    And ladies, I know that some of you don’t want your hiney to touch the toilet seat – but Geez Louise, don’t hover and do your business!  It is so disgusting to walk into a bathroom stall and I have to clean up YOUR mess!  And flush and wash your hands, too! Ick, Ick, Ick!

Talking about rude people – I would like to be waited on without you carrying on a conversation with the person next to you – or worse yet – you being on a cell phone. 

Using abbreviations when texting with people you know is one thing – but doing it while conducting business via email is not acceptable! I don’t think you are hip, trendy or cool.  Quit being lazy and type out the word (s). 

If you don’t what to be on my Jag-Off list, stop doing the above-mentioned offenses.  And don’t walk 2 or 3 people wide down the sidewalk and huff and puff and expect the person walking in the opposite direction to stop and let all of you pass.  File a single line formation!  Don’t talk so loud at the movies or at Cirque du Soleil that I can hear your conversation four rows down. 

Whew – I am glad I got this off my chest; I think my blood pressure just went down 20 points!