Off The Beaten Path: Bootylicious
I was babysitting my granddaughter last night (yes, I am writing about her again!) and we were watching some music show on cable TV. A documentary/musicmentary about Beyonce came on and as I was about to turn the channel I realized that Mackenna was enthralled with Beyonce’s singing. My baby girl had been a little fussy but she shut right up when she heard “To the left, to the left.” I pulled the swing closer to the TV and soon we were both mesmerized by the bootie shakin’ of Beyonce!
Besides the Super Bowl performance and “Put A Ring On It”, I had never watched any of Beyonce’s music videos; I just heard her singing on the radio. Sweet sassy molasses – that girl can shake her booty like nobody’s business. I admit it, we were captivated and enthralled and couldn’t turn the channel. We sat through thirty minutes of videos and concert footage.
I know that I will never win the “Grandmother of the Year” award because of what transpired next. When she started singing “Naughty Girl” I just couldn’t contain myself any longer and I removed Mackenna from her swing and we started booty shakin’ all over that living room floor. It was like we were in a fierce booty battle with Beyonce and well, my grandbaby and I weren’t settling for the first runner-up prize. We worked it like pros. We both had some junk in our trunks – mine from too many Little Debbie snack cakes and hers from a cloth diaper. The music swept over us and the soon we were jumpin’ and gyratin’ like the Pentecostal Holyrollers of my youth. Can I get an Amen?! Amen!
We got so tuckered out that I had to turn the channel to NCIS. I have discovered the secret weapon for a successful babysitting gig – I am ordering all of Beyonce’s music videos today. That is, if I am allowed to babysit again, thank goodness that Mackenna is only 7 weeks old and can’t rat out Grandma for all of her inappropriate behavior!